festive rainbow mirror summoning!

[incanted]

There are now one dozen Bells.

They and most of their friends are all here on Planet Rainbowsand II, to celebrate the addition of Sarion, the elf one, and Aurora, the one with a sister.

Comments

[edgeofyourseat]

[Yeah, 'cause I wanted to know. And now I do. And it's kind of fucked up,] he says.

[self_composed]

[Yep.]

[edgeofyourseat]

He cuddles her some more.

[self_composed]

Stella clings.

[edgeofyourseat]

Alice hugs her and pets her hair.

He loves her, too, but he's not sure that helps right now.

[self_composed]

It's better than the alternative. She keeps up a shallow read, looking for anything else to grab hold of.

[edgeofyourseat]

He doesn't like feeling like Stella wants fucked up things, but the fact remains, those were some pretty fucked up reasons for wanting to turn him. And he's glad he knows what they are, now, and glad she's not trying to tell him they're not fucked up, but it still doesn't feel resolved. He doesn't really know what he wants. Maybe he wants Stella not to want fucked up things, but she's still Stella and he still loves her, fucked up things and all. He doesn't want to change who she is to make himself feel better; that seems like a bad, and also terribly ironic, solution.

[self_composed]

[I would offer to turn into a vampire too but I don't think you want me to become more monogamously inclined than I currently am.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[I really don't!] he says. [That would be worse.] He sighs again; hugs her some more. [I think I'm gonna stop being a vampire. It doesn't feel right anymore.]

[self_composed]

Stella swallows.

[Okay.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[Are you having feelings again?] he asks, snuggling her.

[self_composed]

[Constantly.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[I love you. I want to know about your feelings. Even if they're sad feelings that are going to make me sad.]

[self_composed]

[Mostly variations on the theme that you've already heard. I am not as sure as you are that you will still love me. If I were we wouldn't have this problem in the first place.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[Then I'd better stop being a vampire,] says Alice, ['cause then you'll know.]

[self_composed]

[If you're right. If it stays.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[If what stays? Me loving you? I'm a Joker,] he says. [We love. I loved you before; I'll love you after.]

[self_composed]

Stella swallows.

[edgeofyourseat]

[I will,] he says, [I know I will, why are you the only one who gets to know things about yourself?]

[self_composed]

[Years of practice, template specialty. If you're going to do it do it and I can stop holding my breath.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[I don't know how - I'll go figure it out,] he says, and he teleports somewhere. The Joker's asteroid is the first place that comes to mind.

Awww, the Joker must've been here already in this universe. That's cute.

[self_composed]

Stella finds an unoccupied corner of party, and turns invisible just for completeness, and holds very still, and reads.

[edgeofyourseat]

It's going to need an evil to dig vampireness out of his torching template. He doesn't have any on hand, and it would feel vaguely weird to ask Stella to give him one, since she's so unsure about this in the first place. So he sets himself on fire.

It takes him a few tries, about thirty stars' worth, but he manages an evil in the end. He uses an existing star to declaw the new ones - ever since the Jokers were let in on the secret, some of them have taken to carrying all their coins declawed, even the hexes - and then uses one of those to declaw the evil.

Then he designs the wish.

He wants to stop being a vampire. He can get rid of his also-permanent air filter while he's at it. He should also be immune to vampire venom, because it seems not-impossible that he might want to get bit at some point; he'll take the Joker's version of immunity, which is linked to his regeneration and therefore hurts a lot, that's always fun.

He can go either way on the brainspace available to vampires, but the depth of emotional processing - he's keeping that, in some other form that won't lead to him still having a mate bond by accident. He bets his power will help sort that one out. He wonders what Lazarus would say about its attitude to his mate bond now. They are probably not snuggling so happily anymore.

Is that it? He thinks that's it.

[self_composed]

Stella can't think of anything else.

[edgeofyourseat]

Okay.

Alice wishes.

Then he sets himself on fire again.