festive rainbow mirror summoning!

[incanted]

There are now one dozen Bells.

They and most of their friends are all here on Planet Rainbowsand II, to celebrate the addition of Sarion, the elf one, and Aurora, the one with a sister.

Comments

[incanted]

"I make sense to me," Aurora says.

[cardistry]

"You don't make sense to me. I don't understand why - I don't understand anything about this weird thing you have with Charlie, where you pretend we're not fucking so he won't tell us to stop, but if you know he would tell us to stop and you're not stopping then why would it matter if he did?"

[incanted]

"As long as he hasn't actually said it," Aurora says, "then I'm not actually defying him. What he has actually said is we can't be in my room with the door closed. So we don't do that. He hasn't been more specific - he doesn't even want to be, he doesn't want to produce a list of actual things he doesn't want done, he doesn't want to live with me demanding to know why and having a long pseudolegalistic argument with him, he mostly feels like it is the duty of the fathers of teenage daughters to usher them into adulthood without any practical understanding of sex. He hasn't bothered to update his model of the world that says that people have sex in bedrooms and not on uninhabited planets they teleport to, so that's what the rule is about. If he changes the rules so it's actually about something I care about being able to do - well, it'd probably depend on how he tried to justify the rule, he's decent enough not to attempt anything serious by pure fiat, especially since I could move back to Renée's anytime and he probably suspects she'd be fine with it. But anyway, things would become so much less pleasant in my relationship with Charlie if that had to be an actual conversation we had. And I will not actually lie to him - I will not tell him 'Yes, Dad' if he lays down a rule that I'm going to ignore. So that rule would turn into a mess. I am avoiding that mess."

[cardistry]

"That is weird," says Brilliance, "but I think it's mostly weird because of my trust issues, so whatever, not the point. I forget what the point is. Do we still care about the point?"

[incanted]

"I think I know enough about your end of the point to not mess it up with you, at least not about anything important like altering your species. Up to you if you want to quiz me about my end of the point."

[cardistry]

"...I don't really know what your end of the point is," says Brilliance. "What's your end of the point?"

[incanted]

"Lying is bad. Not the worst thing ever, but bad. Lying by omission - isn't the same thing. People have a right to limit what information exits their heads, if they want to. And 'I refuse to answer that question' is information, 'let's change the subject' is information, and if that kind of information is something you want to keep to yourself, then you get to dance around it to keep it safe, I think. It's not always a good idea. It was sketchy for Stella to do what she did; considering that she's supposedly in in love with Alice it was especially bad. But - I wasn't there but I seriously doubt he asked her point-blank and she responded with a sentence that was in fact false." She closes her eyes. "Obviously it was an issue anyway since it turned out to matter very much to Alice what she was leaving out. With this cautionary example, I'm going to be more careful than she was. But that doesn't mean a complete open book policy, I can't do that, it would destroy me, we know that now -" She gestures vaguely at Sarion.

[cardistry]

"We need to know stuff sometimes," he says, "not a lot of the time, not all stuff, but. My end of the point goes something like. If somebody knows something, and they think that if I knew it that would change how I act in ways that I'd like better but they'd like worse, so they make sure I don't find out, then they're not my friend and if I trust them I need to stop."

[incanted]

Aurora thinks about this.

And then she says, "That puts a floor on how much goal structure you have to share with anyone you want to be friends with." Pause. "But basically I agree with you."

[cardistry]

"Oh. Good," says Brilliance, and he hugs her again.

[incanted]

Hugs!

"Of course," Aurora murmurs, "if telling people true things routinely makes them act in ways I don't like, then they aren't my friend, and I shouldn't trust them."

[cardistry]

"Well - yeah," he says. "That too. But, I dunno, there aren't a lot of ways people can act that I don't like that aren't about trying to control me."

[incanted]

"I'm curious about that," says Aurora, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I don't want to be controlled either, but it sounds really - fundamental to you."

[cardistry]

"It is really fundamental to me. It's really fundamental to all of us, but I'm far and away the most fucked up about it."

[incanted]

"What else can you tell me? I'm worried I'll - say something wrong about something important and you'll wind up feeling like I'm trying to control you, and then we'll be stuck with a terrible situation where I've gone and misframed the whole thing and all the okay results for me are no longer okay results for you because of that framing."

[cardistry]

"...I mean, I'm not saying that it would be fun if that happened," he says, "because it really wouldn't, but I've stuck around this long through you saying a couple of scary things, I think we can figure it out. I don't know exactly what you mean by 'framing', but I don't think you can make something that would've been okay be unfixably not okay just by saying the wrong thing."

[incanted]

"I don't have an example in mind to explain what I mean about framing," Aurora sighs.

[cardistry]

"I don't think I could end up feeling like you were trying to control me and then stay that way unless you were actually trying to control me," he says, "and I don't think you'll do that, because I think you've figured out by now to try asking nicely instead."

[incanted]

"If I were - scared or angry or I misunderstood something you said or if I correctly understood something alarming you said, I might not remember to try asking nicely first," says Aurora. "If it was sufficiently desperately important and asking nicely didn't work, then - I don't have an example, but it's not like it couldn't happen, I have been handed the keys to the universe and you've got a grip on the other end of my keychain, I will be handling high stakes sometimes."

[cardistry]

"...it needs to not happen, though," says Brilliance. "It needs to not happen or I need to get out of this universe and never come back."

[incanted]

[cardistry]

He hugs her gently, shaking his head.

"That's what happens," he says softly. "Not if you just make me scared of it by accident once in a while, I get scared a lot, I can handle being scared, but if you force me to do something, or force me not to, I'll leave. I'll be really sad about it. And I will run away as far and as fast as I possibly can."

[incanted]

"So - what does that leave us with, just hoping really hard that you don't run into any of my dealbreakers where given the choice between you bolting or whatever you'd be doing if I didn't use force I prefer the former?"

[cardistry]

"If I thought that was ever going to happen, I would've run away already," says Brilliance. "I don't know what I could possibly want to do so badly that I'd still do it if you asked me not to, that would also be the kind of thing you'd fuck me over like that for if it came down to it. I don't think there's that many things you would, and most of that's probably stuff I already don't wanna do all by myself, like blowing up planets."

[incanted]

"It admittedly does help my comfort around this that you demonstrably don't want to blow up planets."